Sunday Morning Positive Perks from your Sassy Small Town Missus

Posted 8 August 2021 at 8:00 am

The Synergy of Two Hearts

Thirty years ago on July 27th, I entered St. Joseph’s Church in all white. My future father-in-law said, “Welcome to your funeral.” Thankfully, I appreciate his inappropriate sense of humor, because I was about to marry his son that afternoon. It is no wonder 30 years later my husband Brian and I are still palling around together because both our parents have been married over 50 years each! They left a great road map to follow. It has not always been perfect, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be.

Sometimes we failed each other privately, but our vows said until death do us part … not failure do us part. Good thing. I am sure those of you who weathered the failures, to experience all the joys that followed, can understand what I am saying without dwelling on this.

Being positive, it is much more productive to focus on what does work. You know what works for us? Bickering. My Mom calls us the Bickersons. If I say left, he says right. If I say black, he says white. Sometimes we just have to say grey. It is called compromise. We can not always get our own way.

Sometimes you have to do things you do not want to when you are part of a team. Like go into a home improvement store for 3 hours and shop for nuts and bolts. Dang, I do not like that. Or admit we were wrong about something. But then there are those times that make it worthwhile. Like when they have to admit they are wrong. Just kidding! Keeping it real now. It is gratifying to be a shoulder to lean on, and having one to lean back on is just as sweet.

When it is time to play and explore, a playmate is never too far away. When the other needs a dollar, it is priceless to know the other would give up their last. When we disappoint ourselves or others we can try to show each other a better way. Hopefully, we are wise enough to get out of our own way and pay attention. 

A good, committed team can grow and adapt. In the beginning one of us was more rigid and less tolerant and the other was more laid back. Somewhere along the way the roles have changed. We met in the middle and then switched.

I think it is that way for alot of couples. It helps to understand each other and proves we are truly paying attention to each other when we become each other. It allows us to appreciate the other even more, because we understand the other’s perception. Marriage is the union of two people. If you are successful, you can unify into one common goal and plan for your golden years together.

As we look to our next 30 years, I have no doubt it will be filled with laughter, adventure and a lot of bickering. I just expect we are together making our dreams still come true. Perhaps rocking in two chairs overlooking a mountain somewhere- joyful for all we overcame to build a life around loving each other. How has your union flourished and what are your aspirations?

To see 30 years later, visit my blog online (click here) and catch up on Weekly Photo Perks and past Sunday Posts. Like and share your comments. 

Debbie London